Reflections

Fr. Robert Rawson, Ph.D., LCPC-AC
Priest/Licensed Clinical Pastoral Counselor

WORRY

There sure seems to be a lot to worry about these days.  The economy is not doing very well, unemployment is increasing, higher grocery prices, personal job loss, family support, mortgage payment, car payment, etc.  How do I cope and what can I do?

You sit down to pay a stack of bills.  Every month you go through the exercise of writing checks and then deciding, if there is surplus, where that goes.  If you were to read Luke12:22-31, you would feel a reproach because you worry about finances. 

Your teenage son is long overdue with the family car, and you are sitting up worrying that he may have gotten in trouble.

You are in turmoil about the status of your company and job.  Your worried about having to uproot and starting over somewhere else.  You read Luke 12 about not being worried, but you still get butterflies in your stomach about this situation.

 We all worry about our finances, our loved ones, our jobs, our health, and a host of other life issues.  It can be hard to relate to Jesus’ words concerning worry.  After all, Jesus had no children, no boss, no rent to pay.  Jesus never had to grocery shop for a family and make dollars stretch, or car pool kids to sports, try to make the PTA meeting, and put dinner on the table.  Jesus never had to take care of his elderly parents and help his teenagers plan for college at the same time.  How can we apply His teaching about not worrying to our life today?

 Actually, these passages are more for us today than ever.  In a materialistic, consumption-minded, technological world, Jesus is telling us to order our priorities: “Seek the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added to you” (Luke 12:31).  For most of us, however, there is a large gap between managing our day-to-day lives and seeking God’s kingdom.  In order to achieve the peace of God, to not be over-whelmed by the pressures of life, we have to change .  We read that we cannot add a single hour to our life by worrying and fretting, but because worrying is what we know best, it’s what we do first, especially in stressful situations.

 Being concerned can be positive when it propels us to action---such as seeing a doctor when we are ill or a mechanic when the car sounds strange.  But worry is unproductive.  Worry becomes a negative in our life, taking its toll on our health, loved ones, productivity, and relationship with God.  If we have been worried about two or more topics more days than not in the past six months, if we are focusing on situations of worry more than we are the other business of life, and if we are having feelings of our lives being out of control, then our worrying has risen to an unhealthy level. 

For example, you may shop every store in town, anxiously pricing an item, comparing, buying, and then return what was bought.  You then worry if you should have kept it.  After a few days of this, you are frazzled, worn out, and find that you are not sure that you can even enjoy the item.

Contrast your behavior with someone who first prays to the Lord to help find what is needed within a price range affordable and within a reasonable time---and to help not to worry about it.  The item that is needed is found in one trip.  The situation is put in God’s hands---seeking the kingdom first.  The item is found to be enjoyable.

To seek first the kingdom means to pray first, releasing our fears and worries to the Lord.  A change in behavior and in a particular attitude follows as we make some appropriate changes to our lifestyle.  Taking some steps to change our lives will help us bridge the gap between worrying and operating in faith.  These changes will ultimately help us live in power, love, sound judgement, self-control, calm, and balance.

Here are some additional suggestions that you can do to help gain control of worrying:

•  Get facts and expert advice to prevent worrying unrealistically about a situation.
   Set deadlines to make decisions, rather than ruminating forever.
  Limit worrying to a “worry list,” and take that list to the Lord in your daily Bible and prayer time.
  Delegate chores and other responsibilities.
  Give yourself permission to relax, and to make mistakes.
  Eat, sleep, and exercise properly.
  Try to see the humor in a situation, to keep a sense of perspective.
  De-clutter and organize, using calendars and to-do lists.
  Realize that you will not please everyone all the time.
  Learn to say no.
  Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen---and is it likely to?”
  Mentally put your worries in a box with a lid and put them in a locked room.          Only unlock the room and open the box when you have to look at them.

To say that you are waiting on the Lord, and then to go around with a sense of worry, and dread, is to contradict the truth.  Jesus modeled prayer when He went to the desert to fast and pray.  Jesus also modeled action when He healed, taught, and followed God every step of the way.  To walk in peace, in calm, in trust and in assurance is to find the balance of prayer and action, and ultimately, freedom from worry.  Benedictine Spirituality provides us with these Goals:  Obedience + Stability + Conversion = PAX {Peace of God}.  Obedience to the Lord Jesus Christ and the life He asks of me to live.  Stability by striving to balance my mind, body and spirit.  Conversion by gaining knowledge and understanding of God and His Ways through study for the purpose of improving my relationship with Him. 

Resource:  The Soul Care Bible, Tim Clinton, Ed.D. Executive Editor, Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville